When She's Gone
by Fangirly2349
Summary: Okay, I warn in advance, this may suck. I'm not good at writing from guy's point of view cause I'm a girl  I have issues . Anyways, this is a sequel to Alone and it's in Natsu's view after Lucy's death. Semi LucyxNatsu.


Disclaimer: I love Fairy Tail and all, but I don't own it. If I did, Natsu and Lucy would be together by now!

When She's Gone

It's been over a month since Lucy had died yet nobody had gotten back to their normal routines. Everyone was still chocked up about her sudden death. But, no one was as chocked up as Natsu. He had been the one to find her not anyone else. HE had been the one to promise that she would never be alone again not anyone else. Nothing anyone said could cheer him up. Not Mirajane's soft words that kept telling him it wasn't his fault. Not Elfman telling him it was unmanly to dwell over something. Not even Gray throwing insults at him could change the way he felt. Lucy's death was his fault and Natsu knew it.

Sighing, Natsu got up from his spot at the bar and left the guild. Happy came flying over to him but he just brushed him off. The pink haired teen told his blue cat that he needed to be alone for some time. Nodding in understandment, Happy let Natsu be on his way. Natsu loved his flying cat very much, but having him around would only remind him of the way Happy would cling onto... _her_. Every time Happy would see _her_ he would go flying right into her arms and squish himself as close as he could to her. But now, that would never happen because she was gone. And it was his entire fault.

Walking around town didn't help the depressed fire mage one bit. He kept remembering the good times he and _her_ shared just walking around town. In fact, ever since she died, he had been counting the steps that she would've taken. It had become his habit. He felt that if he thought that she was still around a little bit it wouldn't hurt as much. This worked and now he did it without even thinking about it.

Somehow, as he was caught up in his thoughts, Natsu ended up at _her_ apartment. Everyone, including himself, had asked the landlady if they could keep the apartment as a keepsake. The landlady agreed and the apartment was exactly the same way it was the day of her death. Slowing inching his way to the door that he hadn't dared open in a month, Natsu entered her apartment. Oh how he wished he didn't do that. Her apartment smelt so much like her. The smell of her made his nostrils burn and he wanted nothing more than to find her and hug her just so he could breathe in her scent.

As fast as he could, Natsu went right to her bedroom. There was dust on everything in her room and her bed was still un-made. On her desk lay her novel that she had been writing. Though, from looking at it, Natsu could tell that she hadn't worked on it for a long time because it had more dust on it than anything else in her apartment. But, the one thing that irritated him was her clothes lying on the floor. Without thinking, he picked them up and held them up to his nose. They smelt exactly the way she did. It was then that tears came to his eyes for the first time since her death. His chest hurt so badly and he wanted nothing more than to get rid of the pain. He had never realised how much she meant to him.

"I'm sorry Lucy!" Natsu wailed, falling onto the floor in agony. He had made so many promises to her and yet he broke all of them. "I miss you so much! I'm sorry!" If he could only see her again or hear her then maybe he wouldn't hurt as much. Her words helped him get through his days and yet now she was gone and those comforting, aggressive, kind, and one of a kind words would never be heard again.

Standing up, Natsu walked over to Lucy's desk and grabbed her novel. Tears were still flowing steadily down his face but he needed to at least read her words. So, he opened her novel and only ended up crying more. Where he had opened up in the novel had been a random drawing she had drawn of him, her, and Happy. They were all laughing together. Natsu had his arm around her shoulder, Happy was in Lucy's arms, and Lucy had on the most brilliant of smiles. It was hard to believe that Lucy had drawn it herself but Natsu knew it was done by her. He could just tell it was done by her.

Natsu dropped Lucy novel onto her clothes that were in a pile on the floor. The fire mage couldn't stand being in her apartment anymore. It pained him too much. So, he left her apartment without a second thought. He knew exactly where he wanted to be then. The pink haired teen wanted to be next to her.

As Natsu walked through the streets to the graveyard Fairy Tail had buried Lucy, it started to pour. People were hurrying to hide from the rain but not the fire mage. Instead, he went to the flower shop, bought some roses, and went to the graveyard. Nobody was there when he got there which he was glad. He didn't want anyone to be around him.

"Hey, Luce," Natsu said as he sat in front of Lucy's gravestone, "I got you these roses for you. You never told me your favourite flower so I just got you roses. Don't be mad, at least don't be anymore mad than you were before. Let me just say this; I'm sorry. You have no clue how sorry I am. I can't stand myself! I'm such a horrible person! I broke my promises I made to you and it's my fault that you're in the ground and not in my arms or walking hand in hand with me. If only I could see or hear you again. Please, forgive me." The last part was more of a whisper than anything. Natsu placed the roses on her grave and just sat there crying for a while. The rain was pouring hard on him but he didn't even notice. He was too upset to notice.

After crying for a while, Natsu passed out due to exhaustion. Though, the rain was still pouring as hard as ever on him. Rain had always been his natural enemy. He couldn't use his fire mage abilities in the rain so there was no way to keep himself warm. Natsu was out in the rain for seven hours before the rain ceased and someone went to Lucy's grave. Erza and Gray had been the ones to go to Lucy's grave and find Natsu. What they found brought a flood of tears to their eyes. There, lying in a heap in front of the celestial mage's grave was Natsu. He was freezing cold and without breath or pulse. Just like Lucy, he had died alone.

Natsu opened his eyes and looked around him. The landscape was like nothing he had ever seen before. But the thing that really caught his attention was a blonde haired, brown eyed girl. She was standing not too far away from him with her arms crossed across her chest. On her was a mixture of happiness, sadness, and a tiny bit of irritation. Though, Natsu knew who she was and was on his feet and running to her in a second. He knew that if he was seeing her it had to be bad but he didn't care. The pink haired boy simply threw his arms around the blonde and hugged her; breathing in her scent. She was with him and he didn't want to let her go. He was scared that if he did, she would disappear.

"Idiot. Of course I forgive you. I'm also not mad like you think," Lucy whispered softly into Natsu's ear.


End file.
